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Finding Freedom

Living Forgiven and Free

Month

April 2018

The Surreal Gift

My bed gently rolls me from my side to my back. The familiar hum of the bed rouses me. You know that place, you’re half awake and half asleep? I open one eye, just a sliver, to see if the sun is up. Yes! Time to get up. In my mind, I sit up and swing my legs off the bed. “Steve, you won’t believe the dream I had. I was paralyzed and completely dependent on you for everything. It was crazy!”

My attempt to sit up met with resistance. I’m reminded of the reality, this is not a dream. I feel perfectly fine, not sick, like a dying person is supposed to feel. Yet, I can’t move because ALS is killing off my motor neurons. Surreal.

The Gift

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I read that and think, be present, let go of results, don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring. Then, I remember Matthew 26, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” Each faith tradition speaks to being present and at peace. That’s the gift. Let’s practice gratitude and peace, regardless of circumstance.

What’s stopping you? Root it out, let it go. No buts, be still.

I’m Forgiven and Free and still 😉

Top Ten List

I’m not dying anymore. I’ve outlived my 2 to 5 year ALS prognosis and I’m done being sick. I’ll continue to advocate and irritate until we have an effective treatment, but until then, I’m choosing to LIVE without death hanging over my head. I know a band of heroes and sheroes who are showing me how it’s done.

You’ve read my laments; I anticipate mourning losses to come. My life is different than I expected, but it is what it is. I once said in an interview, “There aren’t many people I’d trade places with in this life. I’ve got it pretty good.”

Here’s the top ten list of the upsides of my less physical, more cerebral life. In other words, the benefits of holding still:

10 — Plenty of quiet time
9 — Rarely need an alarm clock
8 — No housework
7 — Preferred parking
6 — No expensive gym membership
5 — Manicure stays perfect
4 — Feet stay callous free
3 — Only need to tan my front side
2 — I’ll never need a knee or hip replacement
1 — Did I mention no housework?

There’s always a bright side. I have my top ten list, the most supportive family and friends, and my faith.

What’s on your top ten list?

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