My FaceBook newsfeed is filled with good times and good friends. The smiles are sincere. Yet I continue to struggle with grief. Just when I think I’ve adjusted to a new normal or come to terms with ALS, a rogue wave knocks me to my knees. It’s relentless. I feel like I’ve earned an advanced degree in grief processing. Yet, if I’m so good at grieving why doesn’t it stop?

Here’s what I’ve learned to be true. Grief happens and I know I’m not alone in the struggle. You can’t ignore the pain, go under it or go around it. You’ve got to go through it. It sucks. I reflect in the midst of the struggle to see if I can find the cause of my sadness. It’s usually related to a recent loss of ability or no longer being able to easily participate in an activity I want to do. So I guess the grief will continue.

The key for me to stay emotionally balanced is to not get stuck in the sadness. I acknowledge the pain, let the tears come, write about it, and give myself a day or two to be sad. Then it’s time to change my focus to gratitude. I have many more good days than sad days. There are still many things I can do and many reasons to be grateful. Please keep your prayers and support coming. They mean the world to me.

I’m Forgiven and Free and living and turning to gratitude